March 22, 2012

A Warning Every Seamstress and Quilter Should Read!

For the past week or so I've been moving my sewing room and fabric stash....which means I haven't been doing any sewing to talk about.  Since this is the case I thought I should pass this Warning onto you. Do with it what you will:  
A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women & cause them to purchase ungodly amounts of the stuff.
When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cause memory loss & induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one that squirrels have before the onset of Winter, i.e. storing food), therefore perpetuating their species & not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces & mixed with others.... (the fabric)
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few-a breed of women know as "Seamstress's & Quilters". When recorded and then played back on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants:  "Buy me, cut me, sew me!"  In order to overcome the so-called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility (fabric/quilt shop) & use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip.
Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the Earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. They are referred to as "Fabric Store Clerks".
It has also been the experience of many of the older female members of this department that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret these fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least blend them into an existing stash). When asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is: "I've had it for a while".
To: All Sales Associates
From: Nevada Pheromones Warnings Dept.
CC: Unconcerned Fabric Store Management
Date: 3/22/12

Hope that you enjoyed this little post;
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The Author of this blog Kathy wrote it! Kathy Smith Harris 1997

 Remember to measure twice, cut once! 

1 comment:

Kristy said...

I knew there was a scientific and reasonable explanation!!!